Ep 6: Don’t Buy into the Myth that you have to “Do it All” – Ask for Help and Learn to Receive Help

Well, hey there! I am so excited to share today’s episode with you. If you’re new to the podcast, my name is Sheena Walenta and I started this Mama Motivation podcast to help women and mothers everywhere design the life that they deserve and live a life with more joy and less overwhelm. Today’s episode is about asking for help when you need it and learning to receive help. 

     

I believe many of us don’t know how ask for help or how to receive help when people are willing to give it. Believe it or not, at one point I didn’t know that burnout wasn’t mandatory. I really felt like the harder I worked, the better I was doing in my career and as a mother and a wife and I followed into that goofy myth that says, “You can do it all.” And the reality is you CAN’T do it all. And most women don’t do it all.

Remember that old saying, “It takes a village to raise children”?  It really does! So why has motherhood become so isolating in recent years? That’s a rhetorical question, because motherhood shouldn’t be isolating and we shouldn’t have to do it alone.

I had a friend come visit from Saint Louis a couple year’s back, and we were sitting and having dinner. Her name is Gena, and she had small twin girls at the time and she’s also an orthodontist. And I had two little children at the time too. And I was like, “Gena, how do you do it all? You have this successful orthodontic practice, you have these twins, you look like you’re thriving. You guys look like you’re so happy. I can’t barely get dressed or get to work, you know, how do you do it all?” And she looked at me and she said, “I don’t, I have help.”

I said, “What?! I can barely get dinner on the table and grocery shopping is a nightmare. . .” And she looked at me and she goes, you go grocery shopping?” And I was like, “Yeah, I go grocery shopping.” And she said, “No, you need to get your groceries delivered.”

Ya’ll, it had never dawned on me that I could ask for help or outsource services that I didn’t have time to do myself. It’s interesting because she was one of the very first women that really came forward and said, “Look, I’m a career woman, I have children, that’s a lot. I’m pulled in a lot of different directions so I don’t do it all. I get help. I have my groceries delivered. And I also have someone to help with the kids.”

So over the last couple of years, I’ve learned to ask for help. And how to receive help. You don’t need to be at a certain level of income to get help. You could ask your partner for more assistance, ask your mom, your sister, or a friend. Do a trade with you neighbor to carpool some days, or do a play date trade.  Let go of the myth that you have to do it all, and accept a little help here and there.

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